Hmmmmm...

Not exactly sure what to write tonight. I am frustrated and still fat. I am having a really hard time trying to find the motivation to actually get things started with making a healthier new me. I feel obsessed with food and out of control! Tonight I weighed in and posted my inches. Its depressing to know that's really me. This weekend we took some pictures at a friend's party and to see me what I really look like was a reality check. I am just not happy with how I look. 


I have been trying to go on and off soda for months now. I have been trying even harder just the last few weeks. I have done it before, so I know it can be done. Tomorrow I am going to quit soda cold turkey as well as all candy. I may have a dessert every once in a while but no candy what so ever. Its time to get my shit together. 


I have packed my gym clothes and they are already in my car. I forgot to pack a lunch so I will have to do that in the morning. Not only is it super un healthy to eat out as much as I do, but I don't have the money for it! I need to get in the routine of taking snacks and meals to school and work. 


On a happy note, I got a really cute shirt for only $6 this week. I wore it on Saturday. It was super cute and way comfortable. I miss the days when shopping was fun. Tomorrow I will have some Monday motivation as well as some Monday music. Here's to another week of trying to be skinny!

Sometimes I feel like my life is a joke...

today is one of those days. I feel like no matter what I do, I just can't ahead of things. The constant to do list in my head continues to grow and I am wondering when in the "h" "e" double hockey sticks I am going to make it to the gym. I don't even have kids or a husband to take care and I am still exhausted and overwhelmed.


On a good note....I did get my new gym pass today. See I work at this awesome place where I can get a gym pass for only $20. But every time I go they take a dollar off each month. Technically I can get a free pass from work. I have the paper in my car for the last couple weeks and I finally made the time to get it. Yay me. Now just to find the time to make this happen!!!

I'm kind of a big deal....literally

First weigh in and starting weight is...

297.2

I have got to be honest....getting on that scale tonight was kind of a reality check. I sit here wanting to tell myself how horrible that is and how fat I am but chances are that will only make me crave a cheeseburger or something ridiculous like that. So for tonight I am just going to treat it like a number and not a representation of anything but a starting point. This is where is begins. 


Side Note: Weekly stats and pictures will be posted under the "stats" tab above. You can also look to the left side bar for a quick glance of just out weight stats. 

I am {sb}uno.

I haven't always been fat.

In fact for the majority of my life I was a sweet young thing with boyfriends and confidence coming out my ears. But then life happened and I had to deal with some issues and before I knew it I was nearly 300 lbs. Sad story? I though so too. 

So here I am....trying to change my life and turn things around. My confidence is gone and I can no longer rely on my winning personality to make me happy. I am ready for life and love and long lean legs! (I have the long and leg part down....now just for the lean.)

This is my journey. I expect ups and downs and overs and unders. I am here to lay it all out....the ins and outs and dirty truth of what it means to be fat and hopefully what it means to be skinny...again...eventually.